When it comes to flying, flying with children can be both exciting (their excitement!) and challenging. From the logistics of getting on a plane to actually getting settled, it can all be a bit of an Olympic sport. Even before you get on the plane, though, it takes a lot of effort to figure out where the best seat is. 

According to findings from AirAdvisor, the best place to sit when traveling as a family is the bulkhead row. According to flight attendants, this can be true if you’re flying with an infant who could use the help of a bassinet, as many international and long-haul carriers (aka big planes) offer bassinets that attach to the bulkhead wall for hands-free help.

But what if you’re not flying one of these big planes or your child isn’t an infant?

You may find the extra legroom isn’t worth having no items at your feet. “You can't place anything on the ground or underneath the seat as there is no seat in front of you,” notes Jasmine Khadija, a flight attendant of two years. This makes it difficult to have an easy-access bag for things like toys, diaper bags, etc. It’s also worth noting that not all flights offer bassinets, so make sure to check with your carrier.

You can take a bag down once the flight is in the air and seatbelt signs are turned off, but those same bags have to go up before landing — which again, with a fussy toddler or small child, could be the difference between entertainment and cries. (They can only keep what they can hold in their — and your — hand.) But there’s another reason why a bulkhead may not be the best seat for you and your family.

“What I personally like the least about bulkhead rows is that the armrests are often fixed and can't move,” Khadija says. This will also make it difficult to get in and out should you be dealing with a small children — so again, bulkheads may be more of a great bet for those with true infants. 

Khadija recommends the window seat if you take up the full row with your family (aka three fliers), so that the little one has built-in entertainment. If you don’t take up the full row, and you know your child is antsy or you may need to get up quite often, an aisle seat may be a better bet. For those in potty-training mode, sitting next to a bathroom is also a good idea.

“I've seen accidents happen and it possibly could have been prevented if the bathroom was just a little closer, though obviously this is not a guarantee,” says Khadija. “Children still in diapers can also benefit from being near the bathrooms.” She notes that airplanes do have changing tables, and to not change your child’s diaper on the seats. “Don’t be that person.”  For slightly older kids or kids who just want to watch TV or be on their iPads, or kids who need to sleep during the flight, bathroom areas may get too noisy and crowded, so you should think about that being beneficial more for younger kids who are potty training or in diapers. 

Speaking of younger children, children under 15 are not allowed in the exit rows. No exceptions, even if for some reason you’re booked in an exit row, a flight attendant will make them (and you) move. (Note this does not mean booking an exit row will give you your choice of seat should you not be able to book yours — flight attendants will do their best but nothing is guaranteed and it could mean a bigger family is separated.) 

No matter where you prefer and make up your mind to sit, make sure your family is situated before boarding with the seats that make the most sense for you. “If you and your family members are split up for some reason, please ask the gate agent before boarding and asking the flight attendants,” says Candace Keeton, a flight attendant of two years. “The reasoning is because gate agents are there to assist with seat placement and ticketing. Once you’re on board, flight attendants can't force people to move around. It’s understood once you’re on board, the seating has been issued accordingly via your purchase and/or the gate agents.”